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Text - Humor - Thirteen Reason To Buy Flood Insurance.txt
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2003-08-15
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The Top 13 Signs You Should Have Bought Flood Insurance
13> That 25-pound carp in your boxer shorts.
12> You get in a shoving match for the couch with your tropical
fish.
11> You can't decide what's chaffing you more - your wet underwear
or that damned Willard Scott and his friggin' weather map.
10> Those "Amazing Growing Dinosaurs! (Just Add Water!)" of your
kid's have reached 30 feet in height and are still growing.
9> Kevin Costner spotted scouting locations nearby.
8> The electric shock from your vibrator wasn't quite as erotic
as you thought it would be.
7> That noise downstairs? Your Barcalounger bumping against the
ceiling.
6> Your goldfish now gets his own food from the pantry.
5> That neighbor with the new boat wants to know if you happen
to have a spare mated pair of lemurs.
4> Screw the spa -- you've got a soothing mud bath in the family
room.
3> Tidy Bowl Man gets a travelling jones and sets sail down the
hallway.
2> Your toaster suddenly has a rinse cycle.
and the Number 1 Sign You Should Have Bought Flood Insurance...
1> As manager of the Mustang Ranch, you now insist that your
clients wear *both* kinds of raincoats.